Saturday, March 31, 2018


[After a two-year hiatus, the murder of a friend has brought me back to this blog.  Whenever I sit here and put my fingers on my keyboard, I feel the most powerful release. I realize that I can put everything that is swimming in my head on this screen and share my pain, joy, thoughts with others. Let’s heal together.]

#MarieFaye was murdered last week and she was only 35.

MJ is one of those black girls who is so fully in touch with who she is that her excitement for life makes you smile.

I remember when I was telling her and our close mutual friend the story of my horrible past relationship and explaining how I got out safely through a divorce. She exclaimed, “Good riddance!”  We hadn’t talked much but she instinctively understood that I deserved better even if I didn’t yet think so.

She always had a smile and a joke ready at every hand. You needn’t tell her no when she offers to help because she will help even when you pretend to have everything well-handled.

Our close mutual friend had a birthday party for her son (MJ’s godson) in an indoor play space, and we were one of the few adults who ventured into the play space to play along with the kids.  We laughed when we saw each other in the tiniest of tunnels, and I’m pretty sure the kids were laughing at us too!

She reminded me of my sisters and she was like a mirror for who I could be.  A west African immigrant making her way in New York City — she chose nursing when I chose law; she chose closeness to her friends when I chose shyness and fear.  We could be the same person.

I only wish we were closer; life is so short.

God may forgive the man who murdered her, and yet, I am not God.  I have no business with him in the after life.  In this life, I wish him equal pain to the pain he has caused.

In this life, I will do my best to keep these few cherished memories and honor MJ’s existence. I will attend the trial for her murderer and see that justice meets his wickedness. MJ deserved better; she deserved to live and she will live in our hearts forever.

#MarieFaye #SayHerName


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss and for the world's loss of this beautiful woman. I have faith that the jury will not believe the ridiculous story of the man who killed her.

    1. Thank you and I am praying the judge and jury see through his lies. His life is not his own anymore — he owes it to MJ, her family, and every person who is experiencing the pain as a result of his actions.